Let's get some babes in these books!

Oh sure, you say, Mark Bagley already illustrates the adventures of the Ultimate Spider-Man with the delicious eye candy the likes of Mary Jane Watson, Gwen Stacy and Aunt May. (Just kidding on that last one.) Throw in the various female students, X-women, damsels in distress and the like, and Ultimate Spider-Man is just hopping with feminine beauty. (Bagley, by the way, can draw.)

But now, let's get serious. Let's bring on the Ultimate versions of some of Marvel Comics' top megababes. Introducing the Black Cat and Elektra!

Nah, actually, the best stuff comes when Peter finds out the Kingpin has been cleared of murder charges, even though the killing was clearly on tape. And some clean-up-the-streets politician is campaigning on a "Spidey bad" platform. And things get really tense in the newsroom of the Daily Bugle, and the news editor tells the editor -- you know, the guy with the mustache -- "I liked you better when you drank." Snap! May Parker gives J. Jonah Jameson a piece of her mind. Snap! The triple-J endorses a candidate who turns up dirty. Snap! And Jonah finds himself utterly speechless in a parking garage. Sn-- OK, enough of that.

Point is, we're already well into the book, and there's been no Elektra, no Cat, no Gwen and priceless little MJ. Bagley can draw comic-book babes with the best of them, but this book doesn't need them to sell, no matter how good they look on the cover. Y'see, Bagley works with Brian Michael Bendis, and Bendis writes stories that won't quit. They sing. And his dialogue, well, rocks. The day Bendis and Bagley quit making this book together, the comics world will stand up and weep.

Meantime, you have all these books to read, and let me tell ya, the Black Cat does show up in all her form-fitting glory just about halfway through this one. She's got cleavage down to there. And wine and cheese on a rooftop. And then there's Elektra in all her leather-ninja chic. And more with MJ.

Oh, what am I doing here? You've read this far, you already know you want to read the book. So, do.

by Tom Knapp
Rambles.NET
19 August 2006