The prison on Alcatraz Island can be a pretty creepy place -- especially if you believe in the ghost stories that have sprung up over the years -- so you would think a horror movie filmed on location right there on The Rock would be something special. Throw in the fact that the film also happens to be the last movie the government allowed to be shot there on location, and you've got your sales pitch pretty well finished.

Unfortunately for all concerned, Curse of Alcatraz totally lays a great big egg. Much like the hardened criminals Alcatraz used to hold, this movie should have never been allowed to leave the island. I almost feel sorry for the ghosts of Alcatraz who had to endure the whole dud film creation process. This film actually makes Alcatraz look silly and weak, and those evil souls who have been unable to escape its walls even in death cannot be happy at all about that.

I know what you're thinking: this "curse of Alcatraz" must surely stem from one of the sadistic murderers who died a grisly death on The Rock -- or maybe it's tied to the two prisoners who may or may not have escaped (they were never found, but they almost surely died in the water) doomed to spend eternity in the God-forsaken place they tried so desperately to leave. I guess that would just be too easy, though. Instead, we get a strange, long-dead Native American uncovered from the soil in one of the unfinished parts of the prison.

But wait, you say, what about the incredible atmosphere of the place -- surely that delivers a few thrills? Sadly, no. The setting proves to be incidental at best.

So, following a cursory look by the world's iciest forensic investigator, a local professor and several of his top students are given the task of putting their knowledge to work to remove and study the newly discovered body. Fortunately, one of them just happens to be a Native American who can tell the others the dark legend of warriors driven mad by a horrible plague and basically left to die on the island years before a military fort was built there. Unfortunately for all concerned, the group is unable to leave the island that evening, which means they have to camp out overnight in their very own prison cells. Even more unfortunately, they soon discover that they've unearthed something more than just an old skeleton.

There's a lot not to like about this film, starting with the characters themselves. None of them are very likable, their investigative techniques are about as impressive as an umpire sweeping home plate clean, and one of the professor's star pupils is basically just a lazy bum who spends all of his time hitting on his female peers (and, when time and opportunity allows, smoking joints). More importantly, the story angle the filmmakers chose to pursue basically neuters the Alcatraz prison setting and its haunted atmosphere. Since that foreboding setting is the main draw in terms of marketing the film, Curse of Alcatraz basically hoists itself on its own petard.

A majority of viewers, I believe, will come away from this film quite disappointed.