Katie Knapp (formerly Kate Danemark) is a responsible adult with absolutely no vices whatsoever. Those have all been taken away by force. And yet, she is married.

Required to lead a healthy life, she now does nothing but exercise, eat whole grains and write prolifically for Rambles.NET. Anyone who wants to argue to the contrary will be asked to redirect their statements to the editor, who will assure them that he has indeed chained poor Katie to the keyboard with the expectation that she will write the bulk of Rambles.NET material for the foreseeable future. And do the ironing, too.

Katie is frightened.

She will doubtlessly avenge herself on the editor through poetry and countless domestic snares. In the meantime, she is building a protective wall around herself made up entirely of books, CDs, empty Pringles cans, lollipop wrappers and discarded children's toys.

Oh, and there's a dreamcatcher for pretty. And two very lovely rings (with bling!) that bind her forever to her editor in many unspeakable ways.

Editor's Note: Some of the above statements are lies.

Reviews by Katie include:

Chava Alberstein
• End of the Holiday

Fiona Apple
• Extraordinary Machine
• When the Pawn...

Neko Case
• Fox Confessor Brings the Flood

Dead Can Dance
• Toward the Within

Duenow
• If You Could Only See What They Are Doing to You

The Elders
• American Wake

Chris Isaak
• Heart Shaped World

Christine Lavin
• I Was in Love with a Difficult Man
• Live at the Cactus Cafe
• Sometimes Mother Really Does Know Best

Wynton Marsalis
• Haydn: Three Favorite Concertos, with Yo Yo Ma & Cho-Liang Lin

Hannah Montana (Miley Cyrus)
• Hannah Montana

Old 97s
• Fight Songs

Po' Girl
• Home to You
• Vagabond Lullabies

The Ruffians
• Live At CBGB: The Official Bootleg

various artists
• Disney Channel Hits

Dar Williams
• The Beauty of the Rain

Keller Williams
• Laugh

William J. Bennett
• Children's Book of Virtues

Francesca Lia Block
• Echo

Bodil Bredsdorff
• The Crow Girl

Herbie Brennan
• Fairy Nuff: A Tale of Bluebell Wood

N.M. Browne
• Basilisk

Sandra Jones Cropsey
• Tinker's Christmas

Ellen Datlow, editor
• Off Limits: Tales of Alien Sex

David Delamare
• Animerotics: A Forbidden Cabaret in 26 Acts

Anita Diamant
• The Red Tent

Chuck T. Falcon
• Family Desk Reference to Psychology

Neil Gaiman
• The Wolves in the Walls, illustrated by Dave McKean

Patricia Reilly Giff
• Maggie's Door

Brian Gleeson
• Anansi

Charlaine Harris
• Living Dead in Dallas

Laura Hillenbrand
• Seabiscuit

Alice Hoffman
• Water Tales
  (omnibus: Aquamarine, Indigo)

Mary Howitt
• The Spider & the Fly, illustrated by Tony DiTerlizzi

Carl Japikse, editor
• Fart Proudly: Writings of Benjamin Franklin You Never Read in School

Nic Kelman
• Girls

Sue Monk Kidd
• The Secret Life of Bees

Dexter Scott King, with Ralph Wiley
• Growing Up King: An Intimate Memoir

E.L. Konigsburg
• From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler

Susan Krinard, Tanith Lee, Evelyn Vaughn
• When Darkness Falls

Michael Patrick MacDonald
• All Souls: A Family Story from Southie

Frank McCourt
• Angela's Ashes

Rainer Neumann
• Labyrinth: A Mythic Journey

Jennifer Niven
• Ada Blackjack: A True Story of Survival in the Arctic

James Patterson
• Violets Are Blue

Camille Peri & Kate Moses, editors
• Mothers Who Think: Tales of Real-Life Parenthood

John L. Ruth
• Forgiveness: A Legacy of the West Nickel Mines Amish School

David Sedaris
• Children Playing Before a Statue of Hercules
• Dress Your Family in Corduroy & Denim

Stephen M. Silverman
• Envy, Anger & Sweet Revenge (Sin Series No. 5)

Janeen Solberg
• Staying Centered: The Art of Full-Time Parenting

Nicholas Sparks
• The Notebook

Jeanne Treat
• Dark Birthright

Harry Turtledove
• In the Presence of Mine Enemies

Deborah Werksman, editor
• I Killed June Cleaver: Modern Moms Shatter the Myth of Perfect Parenting

Christopher Whitcomb
• Black

Connie Willis
• D.A.
• Inside Job
• Lincoln's Dreams, et al
• Winds of Marble Arch & Other Stories

Chelsea Quinn Yarbro
• Dark of the Sun

Jane Yolen
• The Radiation Sonnets: For My Love, in Sickness & in Health

John Zakour & Lawrence Ganem
• The Doomsday Brunette

Federico Zeri
• Van Gogh: Starry Night

Baadeck Yarns

Dar Williams

Na h-Eilthirich: The Emigrants

Traditional Rug Hooking

Eloise
• Little Miss Christmas
• Me, Eloise

Harry Potter & the Sorcerer's Stone

Spy Game