Joshua Piven & David Borgenicht,
The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Apocalypse
(WHERE, 2023)


My son enjoys an odd assortment of "be prepared" scouting, military history, demonic fantasy and other esoteric subjects, so when I saw The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Apocalypse in our local bookstore, I had to pick up a copy for him.

As expected, he loved it, and for the next few days I would find him turning its pages almost any time I saw him in the house. When he finished it, I just had to borrow it and see what it was like.

It's fun. It's funny. It doesn't take itself too seriously. And, some of the chapters are actually quite useful, while others are more fanciful in nature. It's up to the reader to determine which is which, but here's a hint: If it's about zombies or evil robots, you probably don't have to worry about it as much, but if it's about tsunamis or nuclear disasters, maybe pay a little more attention.

In other words, even if you're not worried about an impending apocalypse -- depending on how you think the world is going these days -- but if you have a healthy fear of disasters, natural or otherwise, some of the survival skills described here could prove invaluable.

Here's an example from the chapter on HOW TO SURVIVE AN ALIEN INVASION that readers might take with a grain of salt.

IF THEY APPEAR HOSTILE
Remain calm.
As when facing any adversary, keep your wits about you and do not act rashly. Focus on your immediate safety (not being vaporized) before worrying about potential longer-term challenges (human organ harvesting).

On the other hand, tips from the chapter on HOW TO SURVIVE WILDFIRES might be helpful if you ever find yourself in the path of, you know, a wildfire.

Determine slope.
If you have the option, travel downslope. Hot air masses created by intense wildfires rise, and fires tend to spread more quickly uphill and burn hotter, making higher elevations more prone to ignition and more dangerous. Valley areas are more likely to hold moisture and contain less-combustible vegetation.

See? That's useful to know.

Although written by Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht -- two guys who have, presumably, survived everything life had thrown at them up to the date of publication -- the pearls of wisdom within don't rely solely on their life experiences alone. The end of the book includes several pages listing experts and resources on topics as diverse as robotics, infectious diseases, asteroids, cognitive science, mediation, aviation, vampirism, weevils, tear gas, plant- and insect-based diets, immigration law, survival bunkers, polar environments, cybersecurity, geophysics and spelunking. And, you know, other stuff.

Some of the information provided is common sense, but if recent history has proven anything, it's that humans don't always have that quality in abundance. In the chapter on pandemics, for instance, you'll find common-sense suggestions like "store, but don't hoard," "design a quarantine plan," "expect shifting guidance," "avoid sick people," "avoid healthy people," and "avoid everyone else." Brilliant advice.

You'll also find chapters on packing a go bag, preparing your finances, stocking a bunker, hiding out in the wilderness, relocating to another country, defeating a global supercomputer, surviving an asteroid, making an emergency gas mask, looting, making hunting tools, skinning animals and tanning hides, planting a survival garden, drinking urine, sleeping in a bear carcass, fending off a pack of wolves, befriending a gorilla, escaping cloned dinosaurs, gathering volunteers for breeding, writing a constitution, merging clans, and building a utopia.

I'll leave it up to you to decide which of those chapters are truly useful. Pro tip: If someone in your survival group is browsing through the SURVIVING THE AFTERMATH section and you catch them reading the chapter on "How to eat insects and rodents" or "How to forage," don't worry ... but if you see them taking notes on "How to determine who to eat first," maybe keep your eyes on that person.




Rambles.NET
book review by
Tom Knapp


15 November 2025


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